Kates Story:

 

When my brother died at the age of six everything changed.
 

Things that didn’ t help me: 

 

People constantly asking me how I was doing and how I was coping because I had to repeat the same thing and I could never really say what I truly felt. I always just said “okay”.

 

Things that did help me:

 

Counselling did help me because even though I spoke to my mum every day about Owen it was good to talk to someone else as well. Having lots of photos around the house also helped me because I could see his face every day. Going to visit the grave most days of the week also helps because it is another way to keep Owen a part of our lives.

 

Bringing flowers and momentos to the grave is like our way of bringing him presents.

 

I am glad that I knew he was dying because I knew to appreciate and make the most of him while I had him and I didn’t get frustrated with him when he was too ill to play. We made up games which he could still play, like McDonalds because we would pretend to order food and play sweet shops and the playstation.

 

It helps to keep his room the same because it is always Owen’s room – no one else’s. It is a good place to think about him and to talk to him.

 

His memory is kept alive in our school through Mad Hair day which is held on his birthday. We all spray paint our hair and make our hair look wild and silly and everyone brings in money for Clic Sargent which helped our family while Owen was ill.

 

Even now nearly two years on I still find it hard to cope but because his memory is everywhere from home, school and relatives’ houses it helps me cope just a little bit more.

 

 

Kate Dempsey aged 10.