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Talking about cancer
Whether you’re a patient or carer, adult or child, talking about your illness, fears, hopes, needs or feelings may not be easy.
If you have cancer
you may desperately want to talk, but you may worry about burdening your friends and family. Will they be able to cope if you get upset or angry? Will they become distressed if they are reminded about your illness?
If you’re a carer you may not be sure how much your relative or friend wants to talk about their illness. Of course you want to help, but you may be afraid of doing or saying the wrong thing.
Talking with children can bring particular problems. Should you tell your child about your illness? Will you upset them? How much will they be able to understand, and what should you actually say?
If it’s your child who is ill, how can you possibly explain their cancer to them? Will talking with them upset you and make you lose control?
There are several good booklets and websites that may help you at this difficult time (see below).
You may also like to contact a local or national support group – You may be able to chat with someone who understands how you are feeling, and who can help you to work out how best to talk with those close to you.
Further information
General information on talking about cancer
Cancerbackup online information. It contains practical advice to help patients talk about their needs and feelings. You can view this online, or contact Cancerbackup for a printed copy (free to patients).
Taking time: support for people with cancer
Online information produced by the National Cancer Institute (USA). It offers useful advice on coping with feelings and concerns, including communicating.
Talking to children about cancer
Cancerbackup information. Explains how to give information sensitively to children. You can view this online, or contact Cancerbackup for a printed copy (free to patients).
Young people with cancer: a handbook for parents
Online booklet produced by the National Cancer Institute (USA). It includes a section on talking with children about their cancer.
The secret C – straight talking about cancer
Book published by Winston’s Wish, 32 pages, ISBN: 0 953912 30 2. Written by a psychologist, it aims to help children and adults to talk more openly about issues and feelings. The book is most suitable for the 7-10 age group, and is best read by children and adults together. Copies cost £3.95 (plus p&p) from Winston’s Wish. For further details look in the Winston's Wish catalogue.
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